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Assistance Please!

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I will soon begin writing a book on globalization.

As a consequence, I wonder if Uncle Sam will consider me to be a worthy candidate for "trade-adjustment assistance" — that is, to pay me if I can demonstrate that I suffer from foreign competition.  After all, the world is full of superb, non-American writers on globalization, such as Johan Norberg [2] and Martin Wolf [3].  The books these gentlemen have written, and will surely write in the future, might well reduce market demand for my book, causing me to earn less income than I would earn were I protected from the competition of these and other foreign writers.

Why shouldn’t I apply for such assistance?  If being subjected to foreign competition entitles blueberry and lychee-nut growers, catfish farmers, and several bushels of other American producers to taxpayer money [4], aren’t I also entitled to have my representatives on Capitol Hill pick Americans’ pockets on my behalf?