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Saturday

The Gallup poll has discovered (HT: Catherine Rampell) that Saturday is the day of the week that consumers spend the most money. In a brilliant policy innovation, President Obama has decreed that from now on, every day of the week will be called Saturday. The ap reports:

“This will not cost the American people a dime,” the President said at a press conference announcing the change. “There are no budgetary costs. The stimulus effects will he huge. Not only will Americans spend more than they did before, but there will be a new demand for calendars. The surge in calendar production will increase employment in the publishing and printing industry. This is a win-win for the American people.”

He also outlined some important psychological benefits:

“No more Monday morning quarterbacking. Every day is a weekend. And no more Sunday night blues for people dreading Monday morning.”

The President also announced that Thanksgiving would be celebrated on the 25th Saturday in November.

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